A friend said to me today that I should think about getting a part-time job, and just keep my tie dye as a hobby for during the Summer months. Ouch.  I’ll give you a bit of context.  She asked how my weekend trading had gone, which unfortunately had been my worst one yet, and as a natural fixer, she was trying to find a solution.  It still hurt like hell, even though I know there was no malice in what she was trying to say.

When I left my job as a train driver 7 months ago I was suffering from depression.  This depression taunted me through my teenage years, and completely kicked my arse after my first pregnancy, and during and after my second.  When I made the really, really difficult decision to leave my job, it was a struggle to find the motivation to throw myself into something new, but I did it.  I chose to tie dye because I knew it was something I could do well, I enjoyed it, and it was almost like a therapy to switch off and get creative.  I completely underestimated the amount of hard work, time and determination it took to run your own business, but it is a challenge that I have mostly kept up with, even if some days the black dog has been stronger than me, and kept me hidden under the covers.  Tie dyeing is also something I knew in advance would be seasonal, and something I knew would not make me rich.

And that’s ok! To be honest I’m looking forward to a quieter time, after months of non stop preparing for festivals, finding my way around running a website, and learning how to book keep.  I’m looking forward to continuing my progress at the gym, which is really helping my head as much as it is my waistline.  I’m looking forward to having an occasional afternoon nap after a difficult night of combined insomnia and, well, having two small children who like to wake. I’m also looking forward to finding new things to do with the business and making bookings for next year. What I am certainly not going to do is jack it in after such a short amount of time, and get a job which I will find as soul destroying as I found train driving.

This blog is not an attack on the person who made this comment, but more an affirmation of my commitment.  I might be about to have a quiet few months, but this is only the start of To Dye For.